Tag: US politics

Rep. Ryan Zinke Named Cabinet’s Interior Decorator
2Mar By jeff12 Comments
Politics

Rep. Ryan Zinke Named Cabinet’s Interior Decorator

Congressman Zinke ready to decorate the sh*t out of stuff Montana Representative Ryan Zinke was given the senatorial "green light" to take on a job of timely importance: redecorating the White House. His official title, Decorator of the Interior, makes him primarily responsible for Trump's cabinet. "My immediate priority will be to focus on the cabinet," revealed Congressman Zinke. "First of all, why is there only one?  The White House is huge.  We could definitely fit more.  Second of all, we could probably afford a new one.  I've seen the budget." Originally, the panel were considering the famous team consisting of Ted Allen, Carson Kressley, Kyan Douglas, and Thom Filicia for the job but voted no because they felt Trump and the team wouldn't see eye to eye. Besides his main...
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Congressional Step-Son Left in Charge During Shutdown
10Oct By jeff11 Comments
Politics

Congressional Step-Son Left in Charge During Shutdown

Last Tuesday, as Congress remained deadlocked over spending issues, the U.S. government came to a screeching halt.  This marked the eighteenth time we’ve had a government shutdown since 1977 and the first time the government hasn’t not shut down since the last time it didn’t shut down. Due to overwhelming concern over what might become of “the hill” and the country in their absence, a last minute vote was issued, and Benjamin Whirly, step-son to a congressman who sincerely wished to remain anonymous, was put “in charge” for the duration of the stalemate. His only condition was that everyone refer to him as “The Gatekeeper” for the rest of his life. “Yeah, I know some people are worried about my work ethic,” The Gatekeeper confessed.  “But would a lazy person do this?  (holds up un...
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