self help – Iron E-News

30Mar

By jeff31 Comments

Local Man

Silver Lining Burns Local Man’s Retina

Area resident, Luke Forthings, went home from the hospital today with what doctors described as blindness. "Yeah, he can't see anymore," Dr. Richard Terdson said. In more technical terms, it seems that Luke has suffered permanent damage from extreme solar retinopathy after taking part in a local hunt for sliver linings. Apparently, he and his book club regularly go out on partly cloudy days and spend hours and hours just looking up at the sun. "Oh it's the best!" exclaimed internet influencer, Apple, who was with Luke earlier at the hospital. "We're reading a new book called If You Don't See a Silver Lining then You're Dumb by Sarah Noyeen and it has lit-er-a-lly changed our lives! I guess it's probably changed Luke's the most now. So jelly." "Hm. Well, the UV light from the su...

How to Make Yourself Feel Better if You’re Self-Published

In case your only way to self-help has been self-medication, here are a few other ways to feel better about yourself if you are self-published: Burn everything you've ever written and don't ever mention your writing to anyone ever again. Ever. When telling people you're self-published, always mumble the word "self" and say the published part really loudly. And then go right into how you hate your editor and all the changes you have to endure. You won't be lying when you say this because people who are self-published are generally their own editors. Then walk away abruptly so they don't have a chance to ask you any other questions (this will help build your persona). Leave out the word "self" altogether. This also won't be a lie because you are published in some sens...

Doctors Recommending 3 Selfies a Day to Combat ‘Failed Existence Syndrome’

“A selfie can make you feel like you’re somebody” – Dr. Sal Phee Are you sad? All the time? Do you constantly wish you were someone else? Someone who is as happy as the people you see on TV? You might have a classic case of what doctors call “failed existence syndrome.” And although it’s true you will never be any of the extremely successful, popular, wealthy, beloved, beautiful, clean, fragrant, dentally perfect A-listers, you can still have a small piece of their eternal happiness. A very very very…very small piece. “A sliver of stardom is still stardom, is it not?” Dr. Sal Phee posed rhetorically. “Everyday people like you and me could never have all the happiness that celebrities possess. But if we can somehow mimic their lifestyle and actions in a small way then we can at least...