Tag: satire

Research Shows Many, in fact, have Flown over the Cuckoo’s Nest
Religion

Research Shows Many, in fact, have Flown over the Cuckoo’s Nest

It is a misnomer, one that has apparently seeped into the culture’s subconscious, that only one person flew over the cuckoo’s nest. This myth, perpetuated by the 70’s movie classic of the same name, has become so ingrained into our psyche that it is safe to say public perception will never change no matter how much evidence is presented to the contrary. Nevertheless, Iron E-News is here to do its part. Strange birds of all colors, shapes, and sizes, numbering in the billions, have made that fateful journey over the lowly jester’s tree and over the King of fools himself–The Cuckoo--into the darkening sky of intellectual infamy and worldly disgrace. Here are some of the more notable odd birds: Literature Fyodor Dostoevsky – (11 November 1821 – 9 February 1881) was a Rus...
Jeff Sessions Impersonator Arrested for Public Nudity
Politics

Jeff Sessions Impersonator Arrested for Public Nudity

Jeff Sessions impersonator, Timothy Vetts, was arrested at Shady Oaks Retirement Village for public nudity in Bethesda, Maryland this past weekend. Vetts was reported to be “meandering the neighborhood" with the words “No Pot” written in green sharpie across his back.  The incident left witnesses confused. “You mean that wasn’t actually Jeff Sessions? He looked just like Jeff Sessions!” says community member, Mavis Bell. “Sessions shows his ass all the time as Attorney General so I thought this fit the bill. Especially with that "no pot" thing, give me a break! You haven't lived unless you have lit up a old J and watched Jerry Garcia twiddle those beautiful hands all over a Stratocaster”. Meredith Lynch, resident pet hoarder, also didn’t know exactly what to make of what she saw. ...
What do We Know about Brady’s Hand Injury? Not much after Restraining Order
Sports

What do We Know about Brady’s Hand Injury? Not much after Restraining Order

Our top Sports reporter, Richard Head, lives and dies by the journalistic mantra: "always go straight to the source". At least that's what he told the judge last year before being told to refrain from any contact (physical or otherwise) with one Thomas Edward Patrick Brady Jr., current quarterback for the New England Patriots, and to maintain a 100-yard distance from him at all times. "Yes, it does make it difficult to do my job," Richard told us.  "But don't worry, I'll have a full report on Brady's status as soon as ESPN does.  I'm gonna live-tweet the sh-- out of their report." After we went ahead and read the latest ESPN update for ourselves, it seems that, "Brady was limited in practice Wednesday because of a right hand injury...He has been on and off the injury report this season ...
White House: “Unlikely Trump said ‘shithole’ because it’s a two-syllable word”
Politics

White House: “Unlikely Trump said ‘shithole’ because it’s a two-syllable word”

White House Press Secretary Raj Shah released a statement yesterday concerning President Trump and his referring to some immigrant countries as "shitholes". Mr. Shah said that it was unlikely that the president used this term since it was a multi-syllabic word--or, according to President Trump, "it had more than one sybable." According to lawmakers who met with the president in the Oval Office last Thursday, Trump used the expression after retiring protections were suggested for immigrants from Haiti, El Salvador, and some African countries. "The president is fighting for what's best for America," Mr. Shah said emphatically.  "And what's best for America is to fight with everyone else." During the discussion, President Trump suggested that America bring in more people from countries th...
Five Myths about Myths
Society

Five Myths about Myths

1.  Myths actually exist (subtle double/triple meaning not intentional…or was it?). 2.  Some myths are perceived as greater or lesser myths based on the author, appropriate contextual language, and frequency of dragons (for the reason why number 2 is a myth please refer to number 1). *As a clarification to number two, in the historical sciences, these myths are termed as Mythy Myths and are more mythy or less mythy based on their score in the official Rubric for Accurately Designating Mythy Myths and Legendary Legends.  This has led to such common expressions among scholars as “That’s the mythiest myth I’ve ever come across!” 3.  Any jokes or puns used to connect the word “myth” with “miss” are funny. 4.  Any jobs related to the study or creation of myths are actual jobs (again...