Local Introvert Mistaken for Asshole
Area anti-socialite, Phil Koff, was wandering down the aisle of his local grocery store--minding his own quiet business--when he spotted a first-time acquaintance, Cher Tumuch, approaching ominously from the other direction.
Though Mr. Koff did his best to hide his entire body behind a bevy of pineapples, Ms. Tumuch had already seen him. It was his next action that was sadly misinterpreted for plain assholery.
"To me and my fellow introverts," Phil offered candidly, "turning and walking brusquely the other way as if I had just felt the onset of diarrhea was a very normal thing to do. We (Cher and I) had literally just met the other day. It wasn't even as if she were a long time acquaintance or one of my wife's innumerable friends."
"I know he saw me!" Ms. Tumuch said at a higher vol...