Tag: humor

President Chavez Recovering “Like a Condor!” and More
12Jun By jeff14 Comments
Dictators

President Chavez Recovering “Like a Condor!” and More

CARACAS–Enigmatic President of Venezuela Hugo Chavez has been recovering at an alarmingly fast pace, and the doctors said that he should be back to “soaring with the condors” very soon. When Iron E-News correspondent Bev Jolt interviewed the president, she was surprised as anyone to find him in this revitalized (and poetic) state. He talked little about his condition but was very eager to share about his renewed life vision–how even the most menial tasks put him in oneness with “our brothers in the animal kingdom.” “I just got a coke like a raccoon,” revealed an ecstatic Chavez.  “And before that I peed like a racehorse.  Yes, I know many people use that expression, but they use it flippantly and are never one with the racehorse while they urinate–it’s simply horse pee to them and...
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Tiger Mom: “Get into Harvard, then Come Tell Me Happy F%#ing Mother’s Day”
22May By jeff16 Comments
Society

Tiger Mom: “Get into Harvard, then Come Tell Me Happy F%#ing Mother’s Day”

This mother’s day weekend, Yale Law Professor, Amy Chua, co-author of the well-known book, Battle Hymn of the Tiger Mom, is releasing her new book, Tiger Mother’s Day, or, Everyday My Kid’s Not a Giant Waste of Space Day. The book is already drawing a huge response online and is quickly becoming the number one sought after Mother’s Day gift from kids everywhere, especially guilt-ridden underachievers. Mrs. Chua attempts to highlight the aspects of an above average, extremely successful Mother’s Day (or Tiger Mom’s Day) and goes on to contend that this kind of day should be a regular occurrence and not an annual “make-up-for-my-failed-existence” kind of thing. Here are just a couple of nuggets that she has used to help train her own children in understanding the difference: Moth...
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Ahmadinejad Creates Fascistbook–The Cure for the Lonely Dictator
1Apr By jeff3 Comments
Dictators

Ahmadinejad Creates Fascistbook–The Cure for the Lonely Dictator

TEHRAN, IRAN – For Mahmoud Ahmadinejad, life as a dictator is starting to take its toll. His answer: FASCISTBOOK. It is quickly becoming a hit with autocrats everywhere. "I love it," Putin put in. "It's almost as beautiful as my body.  Almost." In an extremely candid and colorful interview with Iron E-News, the Iranian leader showed us his vulnerable side and talked about how his important position and responsibilities have not come without their costs. “Being a beloved despot is not as easy or glamorous as some might think,” Ahmadinejad revealed. “There are too few leaders who can relate, you know—who do what I do day in and day out. Honestly, it’s lonely at the top of tyranny.” So Mahmoud, while working with Microsoft on his latest censorship programs, created an innovativ...
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Gaddafi Forgets Correct Spelling of Own Name
6Mar By jeff5 Comments
Dictators

Gaddafi Forgets Correct Spelling of Own Name

LYBIA—Who is the real Muammar Gaddafi anway?  Dictator?  Dad?  Fashionista?  The man of many hats is also the man of many names but it seems that even Gaddafi is unsure now about the one his mother gave him. Last night, the more-than-famous Lybian leader, while writing a check to a local grocer in Tripoli, became confused about the correct spelling of his name, and had a bit of trouble convincing the 16-year-old teller that he really was Gaddafi. “I blame the media, you know,” Gaddafi surmised. “Reuters spells it Gaddafi, the New Yorker spells it Qaddafi, and Yahoo spells it Kadhafi.  Who can keep it straight anymore?” According to Gaddafi, the lawyer that had his birth records met an unfortunate end during the current conflict and, somehow, all the records were destroyed along wi...
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