humor – Page 16 – Iron E-News

Comedian Bares All in New Novel, Cape Comedy

27Sep

By jeff16 Comments

Humor Books

Comedian Bares All in New Novel, Cape Comedy

Q: Tell us a little bit about yourself. How long have you been in the comedy business? I started in 1976. An extraordinary story, actually. A guy fixed me up with his wife (They had an open relationship and it was the 70's) and our initial “relationship” actually turned into a friendship. She had a friend who owned a club in Newport Beach called the Laff Stop. She recommended me to him and I wound up owning a 1% share of the club and doing the promotion/marketing part time. But because the club was a two-hour drive the commute was impossible. So, they housed me in the same apartment they rented for the comics. For a year-and-a-half my roommates were David Letterman, Jay Leno, Bob Saget, Roger And Roger, the Unknown Comic, Robin Williams, Elayne Boosler, and whoever the comics were that ...

New “Smokin’ High” Cheetos Revolutionize the Munchies

17Aug

By Mike Chase23 Comments

Society

New “Smokin’ High” Cheetos Revolutionize the Munchies

SEATTLE, WA–Pot brownies are so 20th century. Not since Pert combined shampoo and conditioner in one bottle has there been such a potent mixture: Yesterday, Frito-Lay announced the creation of a new line of marijuana munchies, including Reefer Packed Ruffles (with mystery-substance-laced ridges), Sea Salt and All Kinds of Jacked-Up Lays, Blackout the Sun Chips, Totally Toasted Tostitos, and Smokin’ High Marijuana Cheetos. Hahaha Dude This Crap is Hilarious Funyuns, and I’m Soooo Baked Right Now Baked Lays are still in the works. Armed with the slogan “Bet you can’t eat just one…or hold down a full-time job,” the new Reefer Division of Frito-Lay went to work last night in Seattle, Washington, recruiting a group of 200 volunteers from all walks of life eager to try their product. A...

Homage to Hemingway: To Have and then Lose the Damn Thing

26May

By Tim J. Myers16 Comments

Society

Homage to Hemingway: To Have and then Lose the Damn Thing

Then there was lunch. You had to stop and eat it; that’s the way it was. You had to stop hiking up the long dry slope and sit down and eat the lunch. If you didn’t eat it you might keel over and then your face would go sideways down onto the dust and you’d smell the dust deep in your nostrils and your cheek would look all fat and spread out against the dusty trail. So you would reach into your rucksack until your fingers touched the flat metal sides of it, and you’d fish it up out of the rucksack, and set it on a rock and just look at it for a while. It wasn’t like other cans. The shape was different. It was partly a square and partly an oval. And it had a blue paper covering, with a picture of it. And it said Spam in big letters. That was all. Just Spam. You took it into you...

Bench Clearing Brawl Turns into Major Tickle Fight

15May

By jeff10 Comments

Sports

Bench Clearing Brawl Turns into Major Tickle Fight

The Tampa Bay Rays played the Seattle Mariners yesterday and, at one point in the game, things got ugly. Then they got awkward. In the fourth inning, with one man on and two out, the Rays pitcher, David Price, faced Corey Hart. Earlier in the game, Price had already brushed Hart off the plate and it didn't look like he was going to go easy on him this time around either. The two benches, sensing something was up, stood to their feet in anticipation. And sure enough, on the next pitch, Price beamed Hart right in the shoulder as Hart turned to avoid the incoming ball. Before you could say, The Cubs will never win the World Series in a million lifetimes because they are still under a curse that the baseball gods in all their infinite baseball wisdom have yet to lift, the two benches wer...

For Russia, Obama Substitutes Mean ‘Red Line’ for Fun Squiggly Doodle

17Apr

By jeff20 Comments

Politics

For Russia, Obama Substitutes Mean ‘Red Line’ for Fun Squiggly Doodle

As Ukraine sits on the brink of a full-scale international conflict and Putin debates over whether or not to make Kiev Russia’s new capital, President Obama has decided to defuse tensions by changing those old and prickly ultimatums with softer, less judgmental suggestions. In a symbolic gesture hearkening back to the famous ‘red line’ drawn before the darkest hours of the Syrian conflict, the President sent the Russian powers a picture of a multicolored, squiggly thing, representing his new, fun approach to these tense situations. “I see now where I went wrong with the Syrian debacle,” Obama offered at a press conference. “Red lines are so harsh and final–there’s no room to maneuver and no going back (usually). This meandering doodle, however, even though it technically still has ...

North Korea to Scrap Nukes on One Condition: “Give Us the Flappy Bird!”

12Feb

By jeff26 Comments

Dictators

North Korea to Scrap Nukes on One Condition: “Give Us the Flappy Bird!”

In the middle of yesterday’s high-level talks between the two Koreas–a country at war with itself since the early 50s–the North issued a shocking reversal of policy regarding its ever-mounting nuclear program. Here is a rough translation of the official statement: “For the love of God, BRING BACK THE FLAPPING BIRDS! We’ll disarm. We’ll unify. We’ll do whatever you want! Just give us our precious little birdie back!” This reversal came on the heels of a decision by Vietnamese developer, Dong Nguyen, to pull the popular game from online app stores. It’s safe to say the reaction he got over his highly pixelated two-dimensional game was…unexpected. Pulling in upwards of 50,000 USD a day through ads and quickly rising to the number one spot in online stores, Flappy Bird took ...