FDA Approves New ‘Merdersyl’–Stops Insomnia by Stopping your Heart
The Food and Drug Administration has issued their approval for a radical new medication that comprehensively solves the sleep disorder known as insomnia. Incidentally, it has also helped solve a number of other unforeseen issues - like the need to ever to wake up again.
Initial tests of the drug on human subjects have shown an unprecedented 100% success rate as the subjects have each enjoyed a very, very long rest.
According to inside sources, they are still out cold.
"Man, this drug really works," a test subject's spouse offered enthusiastically. "After taking one pill, my Tim was sleeping like an angel. And nothing could wake him up either. We're finally gonna get our beauty sleep."
Eli Lilly and Company, best known for manufacturing Secobarbital, has begun ramping up pro...