Local Couch Potato Scientist Still Testing Law of Inertia
Greg Chortleberger, a clever but wholly unknown armchair physicist, has recently dedicated his life to proving (or falsifying) one of the major aspects of Isaac Newton’s first law of inertia: Objects at rest tend to stay at rest until moved upon by an outside force.
“I’ve basically been at rest for a long, long time now,” said Mr. Chortleberger, “And, yeah, I guess it’s getting easier–but I’m still skeptical. I just don’t think we should take a word like “law” and throw it around all willy-nilly, you know? Take gravity, for instance. Gravity sure seems like a law but tell that to a bird. Or helium.”
His plan is to remain on his mom’s more than adequate leather sofa until he is satisfied with his results and convinced that the law has lived up to its name, and that no one has name...