Tag: charlie sheen winning

Satire Accuses the Real World of Plagiarism
World

Satire Accuses the Real World of Plagiarism

EARTH—The third planet from the sun is in serious trouble again and this time it’s not global warming. One week ago, representatives from the law offices of Irony, Mockery, Wit, and Fred notified the blue and green satellite that their client, Mrs. Satire, was officially taking it to court (location still being decided) on charges of plagiarism, intellectual property theft, and conspiracy. Because of our vast connections, Iron E-News was able to obtain an abbreviated list of some of the evidence being presented in the case. We offer it to you for free: The same people that told us it was going to happen in the 1st century, in 1792, in 1988, in 1989, and then (everyone’s personal favorite) in Y2K, are now saying the world will officially end in the year 2012. *Both Hollywood and Ea...
Charlie Sheen Runs for President of the President of the United States
Celebrities, Politics

Charlie Sheen Runs for President of the President of the United States

NEW YORK—In a surprising move yesterday, Adonis Charlie Sheen announced that he would run for POTUS (or President of the United States), and that, obviously, everyone else who ran would fail and become “epic losers.” Mr. Sheen, no stranger to the spotlight lately, has pounced on the opportunity to see just how far his fame might take him. Even after finding out that POTUS was not a drug and that it meant he would definitely maybe have to work, he said he was still interested. Then, upon hearing that POTUS was the highest office that one could hold on the earth and that it was the next logical step in becoming MOTU (Master of the Universe), he responded immediately with, “Winning!” However, during an exclusive interview with Iron E-News, Mr. Sheen let his ambitious and creative tiger-bra...