Are You There Kim Jong Un? It’s Me, Donald
"Dear Kim. Can I call you Kim? It's a girl's name. Can I still call you that? I'd like to call you that.
My people have a problem. Great people. But people with problems. The problem? Fake News.
CNN? Garbage. Fox News? More like low calorie salad dressing. The New York Times? Quilt it, scent it, and make it double-ply... I still wouldn't use it as toilet paper.
Breitbart? Good people. Good, good people. I wanted to make Breitbart our exclusive news agency. It'd just be me and some guy in a room. He'd ask me questions about my golf handicap and my favorite color, and then we'd write the stories together. I love cooperating with the press.
But my people balked at that. My own people. I ask for loyalty and all I get is "no." N-O.
So I need a solution. And...