Get the New Khloe Kardashian Look for Just 250K!

You don’t have to be a celebrity to look like one – all you need is a little bit of cash. Here’s what you do: go to your doctor right after you sell your house and tell him, “I want The Khloe Kardashian, please!” Your life, body, nose, eye, lip, face, and butt will never be the same.

Iron E-OMG! sat down with Khloe Kardashian’s first ever Instagram handle, KK (Disclaimer: this user is not the real Khloe Kardashian, is in no relation to, and in no way represents, the Kardashian/Jenner family or brand in any official capacity or otherwise) to get the full scoop on the star’s recent but fabulous transformation.

“Most people think you need a million dollars to look like a million dollars,” KK told us. “But it’s, like, not true – you could easily do it for at least a quarter million.”

For those who have been living under a rock or in a sad, sad cave with no running water, electricity, or Kardashian to hold them at night, you might not know that Ms. Khloe didn’t always look the way she does now. The great news is you don’t have to either; with enough motivation (and by “motivation” we mean money) you can become someone you hate less whenever you look in the mirror.

“Don’t think of it as 250,000 dollars,” KK said wisely. “You can’t do that. Think of it as 50,000 mochacinnos, but all at once. You’re going to eventually spend that much at Starbucks anyway so you might as well sacrifice a little now because, let’s face it, you could look better.”

“She’s an inspiration to unhappy little girls everywhere – kind of like Rocky at the end of Rocky IV: ‘If Is can change, yous can change; everybodys can change!'”

Here’s a quick breakdown of the cost:

Two sessions of CoolSculpting, 10 treatment areas: 10,000 USD
Composite breast augmentation with lipofilling: 10,000
A course of four Venus Viva treatments, starting at 1,000
ClariVein treatment for one leg: 3,200
Six sessions of top-to-toe Soprano Ice laser hair removal, starting at 5,600

Celebrity trainer for one year: 90,000 (celeb trainer’s not-so-famous cousin will do it for a large discount)

Celebrity chef for one year: 100,000 (those avocado salads aren’t going to make themselves, people)

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