More and More Extroverts Admitting they have a Problem

The science is in: Extroversion is a social disorder.

To be more specific, the Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders now lists extraversion as ‘Social Annoyance Disorder’, which affects 1 out of 3 seemingly healthy adults in some way.

The American Psychiatric Association (all introverts by the way), in tandem with the World Health Organization, published a detailed report chronicling the systematic harassment and general social abuse of introverts by extroverts, concluding that the excessive need or desire to sap the emotional energy of others was really a sort of social vampirism which was, at the least, bothersome, and at worst, dangerous to society.

“Extroverts just need a big, wet existential blanket thrown over their faces every day,” one doctor recommended.  “Which is why I tell my patients to put Sartre and Camus on repeat when they get out of bed or go for a jog in the morning.”

A quick perusal of the manual reveals a very helpful graph (located in the bottom right hand corner) which colorfully depicts how introverts can deal with those affected by Social Annoyance Disorder (SAD); from “get out your i-device and act busy” to “get out your pepper spray and protect your self”.

We had the chance to meet with Dr. En Ward, the world renowned psychiatrist who contributed the lion’s share of the study, to get his perspective on this terrible mental disease.

“People suffering from extraversion should be looked upon with compassion,” Dr. Ward offered.  ”They really can’t help themselves when they invade your space and chat up the trivialities of life for over an hour.  But, with a little counseling and possibly some heavy medication, anyone can get the help they need.”

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