McDonald’s Acknowledges McRegret

McRegret is a very real thing

McDonald’s CEO, Steve Easterbrook, held a press conference yesterday to finally acknowledge a condition that millions and millions of customers around the globe have had to struggle with for years, sometimes decades:

McRegret.

Following mounting pressure from the FDA as well as a few civil lawsuits they were facing, the company decided to get ahead of the story and come clean.

“We at McDonald’s Co. officially recognize what has been confirmed by the American Medical Association and the FDA as a very serious emotional condition–similar to PTSD–that has affected countless numbers of Double and Triple cheeseburger-eaters across our shared planet.  And we would like to express our sympathies by giving every customer a free Super Size of Shame on their next visit.”

Mr. Easterbrook also revealed that counseling sessions from Ronald McDonalds at every store location were available to any who were interested and needed a yellow and red-striped shoulder to cry on.

“I’m very sympathetic,” Mr. McDonald shared.  “The smile may be painted on my face, which may be off-putting in a counseling setting, but I think customers will come to find out that McD’s is all heart–a Big Mac burger eating clown heart (that you can rest on and even nibble at from time to time if you get hungry after you’re finished crying).”

In addition, McDonald’s is unveiling McRegret food options to encourage a new wave of honest advertising and help improve public perception.

“We now offer a McGuilt, McRegret, and even a towering McDepressed that can all come with a side of McPity fries,” Easterbrook said proudly.

*Latest: The FDA has just released a new drug, McRemorsadone, which is available at your local pharmacy.

17 Comments

  • Hi, I think your blog might be having browser compatibility issues.
    When I look at your blog site in Ie, it looks fine but when opening in Internet Explorer, it has some overlapping.

    I just wanted to give you a quick heads up! Other then that,
    awesome blog!

  • Hey there, I think your site might be having browser compatibility
    issues. When I look at your website in Ie, it looks fine but when opening in Internet Explorer, it has
    some overlapping. I just wanted to give you a quick heads
    up! Other then that, awesome blog!

  • Exactly how to convert and work with PDF files just and
    quickly?
    What are the different methods to use a PDF
    editor?
    The on the internet PDF editor has more than 12 functions which makes it useful in numerous means:

    Kind and modify PDF paper online – First, you need to post the document you intend to modify right into the input
    area. To include message, relocate your computer mouse over the
    Text button and click it. Touch the area of your PDF record you want to
    include message.
    Insert Images – making use of the picture symbol, you may replace, insert, or
    adjust an picture on your document. The tool enables you to
    submit the picture from your computer or smart phone (Android or iOS).

    Create editable types – hover the mouse into the “& ldquo; Add Fields & rdquo; and click.

    This opens a food selection where you can pick the area type and set
    the areas exactly how they’& rsquo; ll show up.
    Indication electronically and add days – our solution have a signature wizard to enable you to append your special sign on a document.
    You might select to draw, post a prepared trademark or just type with your finger.
    Resize and drag your indication to the desired place.

    These are simply a few of the methods you can utilize the PDF editor free of cost.
    You can try it today and see what it can do.

    Is PDF Editor Free?
    Our on-line PDF editor is definitely cost-free. We enable
    modify PDF online for free. To make use of the service free of
    cost, you just concern our website and choose the tool you want.
    Upload your document and change it. No need to produce an account.

    What styles does this tool support?
    We have actually made it possible for you to develop a PDF
    variation of any type of paper These might consist of e-publications, spreadsheets,
    records, pictures, and others. Some paper formats you can customize include:

    Pictures – an picture might can be found
    in various styles relying on where or exactly how
    it was developed, or just how it was saved. Some formats may include
    JPG, GIF, SVG, PNG, BMP, TIFF, e.t.c.
    Spreadsheets – papers developed in MS Excel might come in layouts such as
    XLS, XLT, and XLSX. You can likewise transform MS Workbooks such as XLSM.

    Records – a paper can be created in PDF, text, or MS Word.
    Some file styles in this classification include PDF, RTF, DOC, and DOCX.

    Ebooks – you can likewise develop a PDF from a digital publication such as an e-book.
    Instances of such data layouts are EPUB,
    MOBI, or AZW.
    Presentations – file layouts in this category consist of PPT, ODP, and
    PPTX.
    Exactly how to convert documents?
    It’& rsquo; s basic to convert any paper to PDF using this
    PDF editor. When you get on this site, you initially need to recognize the tool you intend to make use
    of. This relies on what you want to transform or the file format you wish to
    obtain. Then, adhere to these easy actions:

    Publish the file – Simply choose the file you want to convert
    from your computer system or cellphone. It could be an image,
    Word, or Powerpoint, or any other file. You might likewise submit by utilizing the drag and decline alternative.

    Readjust settings – If you are converting to PDF, the
    tool will automatically customize the documents and it’& rsquo; s ready for download.
    However if it’& rsquo; s a PDF data you wish to transform, you require to specify the result format.

    Convert – Click the OK button once you made all modifications.
    Our pdf converter will immediately convert the document to the brand-new format.

    Download your file – You can now download your new and modified
    paper.
    If you desire, you can remove the files you had posted in addition to
    the new variation. But in case you neglect
    to erase it, there is no requirement to fret.
    The system instantly removes any continuing to be data uploads from our web server.
    We do this to secure your personal privacy and ensure that your
    files don’& rsquo; t fall under the incorrect hands.

    If you want to edit a checked pdf, the procedure is comparable till the 3rd step.
    On the third action, personalizing might consist of adding messages,
    photos, erasing PDF pages, and other choices, before downloading and install.

    The amount of documents can I change simultaneously?

    Our cost-free pdf converter comes with a set conversion feature.
    Batch conversion provides you to submit several files and
    transform them at one time.

    When making use of the totally free online version, you can modify concerning
    3 documents at once. This is a large amount for any person curious
    about a one-off service to transform pdf files on the move.

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

Discover more from Iron E-News

Subscribe now to keep reading and get access to the full archive.

Continue reading