Kid would have Totally Beaten the Entire Game if it hadn’t Cheated

Little Bobby Clump got all the way to the last level of his favorite video game the other day when it happened again.

“I was at the big brain!” Bobby exclaimed to his mother as she unloaded the groceries from the car. “At the BRAIN!” he shouted, enunciating the word “brain” so the significance wouldn’t be lost on her.

“Bobby, I don’t know what you’re talking about,” replied his woefully ignorant mother, sadly detached and uninformed about the great evils that he had been trying to defeat and the incomparable skill that it takes to defeat them.

“That stupid game! It cheats!” he yelled at his brother, Timmy, who nodded sympathetically, knowing exactly what his older, wiser brother was talking about.

Timmy, feeling a wave of commiseration, spent the next twenty minutes explaining to Bobby in great detail about how, just last Tuesday, he was embroiled in a high stakes 1-v-1 match with the computer and how, just before he was going to deal the final, fatal death blow, sending the monstrous villain back to its binary depths, the computer performed an impossible attack move that that not even someone with six hands could have done on their best day.

“You boys should write your Senator,” his mom suggested sarcastically. “I’m sure this is exactly the sort of injustice that she would want to see stamped out. I could see this going all the way to the Supreme Court.

But go clean your rooms first.”

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