Improved Terms for Known Stuff

As culture changes, language does, too.  So must lexicons. Dictionaries of the world, the following are offered for your delight and edification.

machina vomitorum: Those “thrill” rides at amusement parks that inspire a terror which can quickly have digestive consequences.

genetic freaks: That 0.00001% of the population whose greyhound torsos, giant eyes, and abyssal cheeks qualify them as super-models.

the churchmice professions: Teaching or the humanities as careers.

In and Out: fast-food-induced diarrhea (which, ironically, never happens at the CA burger chain In and Out).

Chichis con Huevos: Hooters Restaurant. Also the answer to a Mexican joke: What do honeymooners have for breakfast?

johnshock: One’s natural reaction, while sitting in a Port-a-Potty, when a stranger in extremis violently tries the door.

Omeletteville: A memory aid for the millions of Justin-bedazzled moms who can’t remember Timberlake’s actual name.

Loserschnitzel: Elitist nickname for the hot-dog chain Wienerschnitzel.

mammal glamour: all those aspects of the high-off-the-hog lifestyle that appeal so powerfully—sex, beauty, food, etc.

Internet logic: If you can possibly disagree with something, you’re required to rage about it in apostrophe-free ecstasy—or better yet, substitute memes for activism or thought.

bro-thumping: Thunderous back-pounding which makes hugging amenable to macho guys.

cute-quake: When something is so cute you shiver, quiver, or the like.

G-bro: Frat boy meets hip hop. Ballcap in non-aligned direction, earnest but lame rapping–oh, and he’s white.

catatonic brunch: produces comfort-food coma.

Christmas ornaments: Testicles. Allows less barbaric observations such as, “The third baseman is adjusting his Christmas ornaments.”

cowboy chords: Insufficient commitment to a field. An amateur musician I know once said, “All I play are cowboy chords,” meaning the three or four most basic. One could learn more.

show-fro: 60’s-style Afro sported by contemporary young person.

nutjobs: Squirrels. Because squirrels.

screen-bots: Just look around.

40 Comments

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

Discover more from Iron E-News

Subscribe now to keep reading and get access to the full archive.

Continue reading