Feeling Smart is the New Smart

Let’s be honest, feeling smart is way better, and so much more important, than being smart.  If you don’t feel smart, how can you be self-confident?  If you can’t be self-confident, how can you be a success?  If you can’t be a success, how can you feel smart?  See?  It’s easy.

Here are some of the top ways to help yourself feel smart:

-Use air-quotes a lot

-Roll your eyes every time someone says something (especially if it sounds smart)

-Carry around a solved Rubik’s cube

-Wear non-prescription glasses

-Use in-group abbreviations whenever possible (The Times, Wash-Po, etc.)

-Say you’re part of a book club (or better, that you quit because they were reading dumb books)

-Put on your ‘serious face’ more often

-Use that one logical fallacy you remember from college in every argument

-During conversations you don’t understand, say ‘hm’ repeatedly.  If someone asks what you think, quickly change the subject to something you read about in the Times this morning.

-Look up eponymous adjectives and use the ones no one knows (“How Bacchanalian of you!”)

-Ask simple questions but then say you were being rhetorical

-Read things like this out loud: The pun, also called paronomasia, is a form of word play that suggests two or more meanings, by exploiting multiple meanings of words, or of similar-sounding words, for an intended humorous or rhetorical effect. These ambiguities can arise from the intentional use of homophonic, homographic, metonymic, or figurative language.

And then say, “See?!” as if you’ve been trying to say that for years.

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