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American Youth Discovers Sam Adams More than Just ‘Dead Beer Dude’

17Feb

By jeff34 Comments

U.S.

American Youth Discovers Sam Adams More than Just ‘Dead Beer Dude’

BOSTON—Twenty-four-year-old Boston native and soon-to-be college grad, Richard Head, while sitting atop his cherry SUV and watching fireworks in the distance, learned a little bit more about American history and culture this past New Year’s–and, man, would his dad have been proud. “The last thing I thought I was going to get that night was a history lesson, if you know what I mean,” Richard revealed. “But leave it to Joe…he’s full of sh– like that. Anyways, there we were, sipping our favorite brewski and I says to Joe, ‘Eh Joe, who was Sam Adams anyways?’ And then Joe–he says to me, ‘You mean the dead beer guy?’ And I says, ‘No, I mean your mom. Of course the dead beer guy.” And then Joe turns to me all serious like and says, ‘Don’t you know anything? He was one of those original Americ...

American Tourist in Italy Visits the Sixteenth Chapel

American tourist and college grad, Richard Head, recently decided it was time to get some culture in his life. Or, in his words, 16th century porn. After “learning” about the paintings that ornamented the lavish walls of the Vatican’s famous “Sixteenth Chapel”, he logically assumed that this was how all Italians lived and dressed, and so, of course, he wanted to see it for himself. However, he hesitated for a brief moment because he thought it a bit strange that so much nudity would be found in chapels of all places. But he didn’t hesitate for long because so much culture awaited. Upon arriving in the Fiumicino airport, he hurriedly made his way through the tarmac and into the waiting area, fully expecting a cornucopia of lounging flesh similar to what one might find on Mount Olympus....

U.S. Totally Retains Moral Authority in Lybia

Iron E-Newswire Official Transcript Mrs. Clinton: Good morning everyone. Can you hear me okay? Well, as some of you may already know, we have begun imposing an arms embargo and unilateral sanctions against Mu’uammar Gaddafi and his regime. The situation in Lybia has come to the point where we feel this action is both justified and entirely necessary, and furthermore, we are confident it will seriously disrupt both his network of operations and his ability to move weapons and forces on the ground. Iron E-News: Mrs. Clinton, this is Mr. Jolt with Iron E-News. Good morning and congratulations to both you and the President. Does this signal a new era for U.S.-Iranian relations? Mrs. Clinton: I’m not sure what you mean. Are you referring to Lybia? Iron E-News: Iran—the arms ...