Society

Christians Caught Celebrating True Meaning of Easter
23May By jeff14 Comments
Religion

Christians Caught Celebrating True Meaning of Easter

Last month during the holiday known to the world as Easter—the holiday of innocent white, fluffy rabbits, decoratively painted eggs, and hordes of smiling children all gathered on plush lawns for The Hunt—a group of Christians were found doing something so bizarre it was almost criminal: they were celebrating Christ. Interestingly enough, the person who stumbled in on the strange service was none other than the Easter Bunny himself.  He recounted the details to us methodically, apparently in a bit of shock. “I had just done three churches so I decided to take a break.  I thought we were going to drink coffee, hear a short message on current events, and then I could help the little tykes hunt for eggs.  But then they started talking about Jesus.  Jesus Christ!” he said with horror.  “...
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New “Smokin’ High” Cheetos Revolutionize the Munchies
17Aug By Mike Chase23 Comments
Society

New “Smokin’ High” Cheetos Revolutionize the Munchies

SEATTLE, WA–Pot brownies are so 20th century. Not since Pert combined shampoo and conditioner in one bottle has there been such a potent mixture: Yesterday, Frito-Lay announced the creation of a new line of marijuana munchies, including Reefer Packed Ruffles (with mystery-substance-laced ridges), Sea Salt and All Kinds of Jacked-Up Lays, Blackout the Sun Chips, Totally Toasted Tostitos, and Smokin’ High Marijuana Cheetos.  Hahaha Dude This Crap is Hilarious Funyuns, and I’m Soooo Baked Right Now Baked Lays are still in the works. Armed with the slogan “Bet you can’t eat just one…or hold down a full-time job,” the new Reefer Division of Frito-Lay went to work last night in Seattle, Washington, recruiting a group of 200 volunteers from all walks of life eager to try their product. A...
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Thousand Angry Wasp Bucket Challenge not as Popular
13Aug By jeff15 Comments
Society

Thousand Angry Wasp Bucket Challenge not as Popular

Wasp Bucket Challenge goes viral for all the wrong reasons Due to the overwhelming success of the popular ALS online “ice bucket challenge”, other non-profit organizations have begun proposing their own similar campaigns to generate awareness and support from the public. One particular charity, Save the Wasps of Ichipunininana, has started a campaign called the “thousand angry wasps bucket challenge” in which the participant simply puts a thousand or more poisonous flying insects into a large bucket and then dumps it over his/her head. The true challenge, according to the few who have actually participated–besides getting the wasps to stay in the bucket initially–is to not die afterwards. “Yeah, I made it.  Barely,” said one participant through a breathing tube.  “My face may loo...
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Homage to Hemingway: To Have and then Lose the Damn Thing
26May By Tim J. Myers16 Comments
Society

Homage to Hemingway: To Have and then Lose the Damn Thing

Then there was lunch.  You had to stop and eat it; that’s the way it was.  You had to stop hiking up the long dry slope and sit down and eat the lunch.  If you didn’t eat it you might keel over and then your face would go sideways down onto the dust and you’d smell the dust deep in your nostrils and your cheek would look all fat and spread out against the dusty trail.  So you would reach into your rucksack until your fingers touched the flat metal sides of it, and you’d fish it up out of the rucksack, and set it on a rock and just look at it for a while.  It wasn’t like other cans.  The shape was different.  It was partly a square and partly an oval.  And it had a blue paper covering, with a picture of it.  And it said Spam in big letters.  That was all.  Just Spam. You took it into you...
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Tiger Mom: “Get into Harvard, then Come Tell Me Happy F%#ing Mother’s Day”
22May By jeff16 Comments
Society

Tiger Mom: “Get into Harvard, then Come Tell Me Happy F%#ing Mother’s Day”

This mother’s day weekend, Yale Law Professor, Amy Chua, co-author of the well-known book, Battle Hymn of the Tiger Mom, is releasing her new book, Tiger Mother’s Day, or, Everyday My Kid’s Not a Giant Waste of Space Day. The book is already drawing a huge response online and is quickly becoming the number one sought after Mother’s Day gift from kids everywhere, especially guilt-ridden underachievers. Mrs. Chua attempts to highlight the aspects of an above average, extremely successful Mother’s Day (or Tiger Mom’s Day) and goes on to contend that this kind of day should be a regular occurrence and not an annual “make-up-for-my-failed-existence” kind of thing. Here are just a couple of nuggets that she has used to help train her own children in understanding the difference: Moth...
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