Politics – Page 4 – Iron E-News

Ringmaster Carney Turns Obama Scandals into Fun for the Whole Family

28Sep

By jeff18 Comments

Politics

Ringmaster Carney Turns Obama Scandals into Fun for the Whole Family

In a colorful press conference held at the White House a few days ago, press secretary/circus master Jay Carney lived up to his last name as the Obama scandals piled up like elephants in a circus ring or clowns in a clown car. From Benghazi to the IRS to killing American citizens without trial to Michelle possibly changing her hair again to now this. Mr. Carney began the wildly entertaining event by reminding everyone that the Benghazi exhibition could be viewed in the smaller tent just outside the main arena under the banner “sideshow.” Just as he finished speaking, twenty military drones buzzed the big tent towing banners that read: Progress!! The president arrived with customary flair and, after issuing a brief statement, wowed the audience with his signature disappearing ac...

6May

By jeff22 Comments

Politics

DOJBall: In Theaters this Summer!

In theaters now! If you enjoyed Ben Stiller and Vince Vaughn’s performance in the original 2004 sports comedy, then you are going to love Iron E-Media’s latest release: “DOJBall” (starring Attorney General Eric Holder). With such memorable lines as, “No one makes me police my own policy!” and “If you can dodge justice, you can dodge a ball,” this summer movie is sure to be a classic. “DOJBall is a hit!” raves New York Times reporter David Sanger. “You’ll laugh, you’ll cry, and, more importantly, you’ll want to get out there and dodge some justice!” With stellar supporting performances by president Obama and Jay Carney, this film has all the magic of past movies such as “Watergate” and “Contragate”, but hasn’t received near the media hype and attention that it deserves. Neverth...

The Department of Justice Probes Itself–Comes Out Clean

22Oct

By jeff24 Comments

Politics

The Department of Justice Probes Itself–Comes Out Clean

After information has come to light regarding Chief Justice Eric Holder’s seizure of months of AP phone records and targeting of journalists such as James Rosen and David Sanger, Mr. Holder must now answer…to himself. Upon reading about the entire ordeal in his morning paper, the president has initiated an immediate and just response: namely, a thorough and penetrating investigation of DOJ policies and actions toward journalists. “I am very disturbed by what I’ve been reading,” president Obama admitted candidly. “We value freedom of the press and are committed to ensuring its protection. To prove it to you, I’ve tasked Chief Justice Holder with heading the investigation. No one is more familiar with the intricacies and complex machinations of Eric than Eric.” According to an anony...

Mitt Romney Adopts Overseas Money–Emotional Reunion at Airport

12Aug

By jeff24 Comments

Politics

Mitt Romney Adopts Overseas Money–Emotional Reunion at Airport

BOSTON--It was quite the Hallmark moment for the Romney clan today as the former governor stood next to his campaign bus at the Logan International Airport, anxiously awaiting the arrival of his newly adopted sons. And as his "precious cargo" emerged from the plane intact, he almost couldn't restrain himself. "I'm a dad again!" the proud governor exclaimed jubilantly. "And again. And again. I never thought this day would come but here it is--and here they are!" According to both the government and the Guinness Book of World Records, this is the first time anyone's family has outgrown most countries. "The little guys are still sleeping," whispered the presidential hopeful as he patted their briefcase-like strollers. "Oh look! Some Ben's are up. And a few thousand Grants to...

Millions of Americans become Nader-haters because it’s Fun to Say

22May

By jeff16 Comments

Politics

Millions of Americans become Nader-haters because it’s Fun to Say

Americans all across the contiguous United States have recently jumped on the latest virtual bandwagon: hating presidential candidate Ralph Nader, simply because “hater” rhymes with “Nader”. Iron E-News talked with random people from different states and we were amazed at some of the responses. Bonnie-Luke from Washington said that she had never even heard of Ralph Nader and, beyond that, never dreamed of calling herself a political person, but when she came across the phrase “Nader-Hater” on the worldwide interwebs, she knew she had to align herself with that hilarious tidbit. Terry from California said she was ALOL (almost laughing out loud) when she saw the phrase, and since she hated all politicians anyway, she said it just felt right to hate Nader too. Paul from North Caro...

Ron Paul ‘Slow and Steady’ Strategy has Him Almost Definitely Winning in 2040

15Feb

By jeff16 Comments

Politics

Ron Paul ‘Slow and Steady’ Strategy has Him Almost Definitely Winning in 2040

Ron Paul may not seem the most obvious candidate to some but, according to the libertarian’s inner circle, Paul’s strategy for obtaining the White House sometime in the next century is nothing less than golden. The longtime congressman, though lagging behind his conservative counterparts in the Republican primary, sees himself as more of the tortoise than the hare in this race. “Sure, you can use that analogy,” said one of his aides in response to our comment. “Or you can look at it like this: Ron Paul is like a cube of vegetable bullion in hot water. It may take a while to kick in, but once it does–oh sweet victory!” Dr. Paul has been a permanent fixture in modern politics since the 1970′s and has intermittently run for the nation’s highest office since the 80′s. His strong st...