ENTMT – Page 5 – Iron E-News

Kim and Kanye Name Baby “North West” because “Latitude” and “Longitude” Taken

21Jun

By jeff14 Comments

Celebrities

Kim and Kanye Name Baby “North West” because “Latitude” and “Longitude” Taken

Kim Kardashian and Kanye West, forever in the public eye (somewhere between the iris and the cornea), recently announced the birth and name of their daughter. According to our inside sources, the happy couple, because of their aspirations for their daughter to be a global citizen, finally settled on a type of name relating to maps. But, after realizing that their favorites–Longitude, Latitude, and Northern Hemisphere–were taken, they eventually went with her official name, North West. For those who would cry foul and accuse Kim and Kanye of being just another celebrity couple who are parenting their kid for the press and media attention and not actually in the interests of the child, you are obviously not thinking this through. The answer is solidarity. If celebrities start na...

Sources Close to Celebrity Sources Very Reliable, Sources Say

17Feb

By jeff22 Comments

Celebrities

Sources Close to Celebrity Sources Very Reliable, Sources Say

According to a contact of ours that has a very, very close acquaintance that knows people who are “in the know”, those particular people always know what they’re talking about when they talk about things heard from actual friends of celebrities. In other words, we have it on good authority that our source’s hearsay is authoritative. Our gossip is so good that we’ve been approached by OMG! and TMZ on a number of occasions to fill in the tiniest gaps on their usually solid stories. If you haven’t heard, we were the ones who gave them these juicy bits: -Lady Gaga to sue Ice Cream Limited for production of ice cream machine strap-on bra (called Malted Mammaries) -Matt Damon takes a really big bite of his cheeseburger (at an Italian restaurant!) -Hillary Duff and Lindsay Lohan to...

Justin Beiber Seeks Counseling after Struggling with Normal Thoughts

22Jan

By jeff25 Comments

Celebrities

Justin Beiber Seeks Counseling after Struggling with Normal Thoughts

LONDON, ONTARIO–In a highly publicized press conference yesterday, Scooter Braun, manager of Canadian teen-pop idol Justin Bieber, revealed that the young star is seeking professional help for what he describes as “recurring, almost debilitating, normal thoughts”. “Justin has had a serious relapse, but he is getting the help he needs,” said Braun. “Our team of celebrity psychiatrists have assured me that Justin will not suffer any long-term effects from these thoughts and that he will be back to spreading Bieber Fever in no time.” According to sources close to the Biebers, the incident occurred after Justin witnessed his half-brother put his pant legs on one at a time. This supposedly caused the pop sensation to crawl up into the fetal position and call out, “Baby, No! Baby, baby,...

Charlie Sheen Runs for President of the President of the United States

20Mar

By jeff1 Comment

Celebrities, Politics

Charlie Sheen Runs for President of the President of the United States

NEW YORK—In a surprising move yesterday, Adonis Charlie Sheen announced that he would run for POTUS (or President of the United States), and that, obviously, everyone else who ran would fail and become “epic losers.” Mr. Sheen, no stranger to the spotlight lately, has pounced on the opportunity to see just how far his fame might take him. Even after finding out that POTUS was not a drug and that it meant he would definitely maybe have to work, he said he was still interested. Then, upon hearing that POTUS was the highest office that one could hold on the earth and that it was the next logical step in becoming MOTU (Master of the Universe), he responded immediately with, “Winning!” However, during an exclusive interview with Iron E-News, Mr. Sheen let his ambitious and creative tiger-bra...