ENTMT – Page 4 – Iron E-News

Jack Nicholson Mistaken for Regular Crazy Old Curmudgeon

22Feb

By jeff1060 Comments

Celebrities

Jack Nicholson Mistaken for Regular Crazy Old Curmudgeon

NEPTUNE CITY, NJ—Silver screen legend Jack Nicholson, best known for his performances in movies such as The Shining, Batman, and One Flew Over the Cuckoo’s Nest, was visiting his hometown in New Jersey when he got into a “misunderstanding” with a normal person named Hank (who reportedly makes 4,000 dollars a month and drives a Prius) at the intersection of Main St. and 6th. According to eye-witnesses, the “misunderstanding” arose when Hank had the audacity to put on his blinker and slow to make a right turn just before Mr. Nicholson, who was driving behind him, attempted to make that same turn first. And then, to add insult to injury, Hank shamelessly screamed back at Mr. Nicholson, mistaking him for an ordinary irate nutjob, as he jumped onto the hood of Hank’s car and began to smash ...

17Feb

By jeff25 Comments

ENTMT

Microcosmic Man Tired of Getting Overlooked at Comic-Con

It’s only mid-January but the excitement and anticipation for Comic-Con 2013 is already building. Tights are being cleaned, claws sharpened, tickets purchased, and super-hearts broken. That’s right, humans aren’t the only ones who can get left out of this high-profile, exclusive event. “We may be immune to a lot of things,” offered Micro Man quite candidly. “But not feelings. People don’t really get that. If they would simply stoop down with a high-powered microscope and ask sometime, I’d be glad to tell them. But does that ever happen?” Because we were not too familiar with Microcosmic Man and felt that he deserved a chance to tell his side of things, we sat down with the miniature marvel (though it took a while to find him). “What’s my super power? I basically morph (or, change, for y...

6Nov

By jeff23 Comments

ENTMT, Politics

Star Wars 7 Revealed: The Drone Wars

Star Wars 7 Cast and Title Revealed! “Not long ago, in a galaxy far, far beyond the reach of justice and peace, a strange and bitter conflict arose on the dark and inhospitable planet known as Yemen.” So begins the highly anticipated JJ Abrams continuation of the intergalactic epic, Star Wars; and, along with it, the continuation of a worldwide love affair with Wookies, droids, Ewoks, bounty hunters, and the like. With some of the casting of episode 7 already released, Abrams kept the lead roles and the title of the movie cloaked in mystery…until today. “I’ve had my eye on the president for a while, actually,” the famed director admitted. ”Politicians are natural actors, which is why so many of them have made the transition from the studio to the hill so seamlessly.” “G-dub w...

New Transformers Movie an Intellectual Orgasm

21Jun

By jeff15 Comments

ENTMT

New Transformers Movie an Intellectual Orgasm

New Transformers movie an esoteric vision The early reviews are in, and the fortieth installment of Michael Bay’s epic science fiction saga, Transformers: Age of Extinction, is quickly being hailed as the War and Peace of the silver screen. “Age of Extinction,” writes Desson Howe of the Washington Post, ”plays itself with such contrapuntal richness, it resonates in you forever. Set in an unknown time and space, this extraterrestrial saga of will, destiny and passion--starring Mark Wahlberg (formerly Marky Mark of the Funky Bunch)--is an extraordinary symphony of sound and silence, of lilting pleasure and tangled horror.” “It’s a genuinely epic ciné-poem that deals with flying, transforming robots as an absolute, inevitable and eternal facet of existence,” raves Geoff Andrew of Time ...

Human Really Impressing Other Humans Right Now

10Dec

By jeff20 Comments

Celebrities

Human Really Impressing Other Humans Right Now

We’ve lived on this planet for thirty-five years now, and though we have easily adopted their mannerisms, assumed their practices, and assimilated their languages, we think it’s safe to say there are some things that we will never understand – as sure as Rumyliak has three suns and Gorpin was a grifter. Lately, we have become increasingly fascinated (as much as a Rumyliakan can be fascinated, huhuhu) with what terrestrians call “celebrities”. For the longest time, we thought the humans were reviving the study of Astrology because of their constant references to the stars. Only later did Mhkkiklab point out that they were actually referring to people. And so, logically, our subsequent debate was on whether or not these particular humans had a higher atomic number count than most. Need...

Scientists Sample Jessica Simpson’s Post-Baby Fat to Understand Source of Popularity

20Oct

By jeff18 Comments

Celebrities, Sci-Tech

Scientists Sample Jessica Simpson’s Post-Baby Fat to Understand Source of Popularity

A few dozen scientists from the Institute of Research got together last week to examine a mystery that has confounded some of the brightest minds in our society: the popularity of Jessica Simpson’s fluctuating body weight. This groundbreaking research, though focusing specifically on Ms. Simpson, was expected to shed light on the reason behind the public’s continuing obsession over things generally regarded as private. Already gaining notoriety in the scientific community, this is not the first time this group of scientists have worked together on a project of this magnitude. You may recall their work with Beiber’s hair and Lady Gaga’s brain a few years back. The team took fat samples from Ms. Simpson and compared them with samples from three completely unknown and (they were ass...