ENTMT

Lavar Ball Claims he Would Crush The Mountain in One-on-One Combat
30Jul By jeff17 Comments
ENTMT, Sports

Lavar Ball Claims he Would Crush The Mountain in One-on-One Combat

  We just received a raven from the Citadel and it appears Lavar Ball of the House of Ball, first of his name, has thrown down the iron gauntlet (made specially from the Iron Isles) and demanded that Ser Gregor Clegane, The Mountain, of the House of Scare the Hell out of Everyone, leave the Red Keep at once and face him in open combat. This is not the first time we've heard grand boasts from the Lord of Ball Nation, and it certainly won't be the last.  Well maybe. "He's a big ole WUSSY!" Lord Ball exclaimed.  "Mount Wussy Wuss Face is his true name!  And it's time to make that mountain into a mole hill!" During this very ambitious and very long speech, one that men will surely sing about and women will one day teach to their children, Lord Ball expounded upon a litany of accomplis...
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DC and Marvel Villains Becoming Good Guys to Land Lucrative Ad Deals
12Jul By jeff25 Comments
ENTMT

DC and Marvel Villains Becoming Good Guys to Land Lucrative Ad Deals

It pays to be a good guy. On the heels of big time advertisement campaigns starring iconic superheroes like Spiderman, The Hulk, Superman, Iron Man, etc. the union officially representing the villains of DC and Marvel released the statement of the century yesterday. “In the interests of our clients, the DCU, MU, and the world at large, we–the ones callously labeled as ‘bad guys’–would like to announce our complete resignation (in perpetuity) from any and all evil plots, plans, schemes, etc. that would (directly or indirectly) cause the harm and/or destruction of the planet, humans, and…well…yeah, we guess superheroes, too.” This shocking announcement has left their respective universes reeling in disbelief and the response–from superheroes more than anyone–has been one of complete...
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Exclusive: Taylor Swift almost Added one more “Ever” to “Back Together” Chorus
8Jul By jeff15 Comments
ENTMT

Exclusive: Taylor Swift almost Added one more “Ever” to “Back Together” Chorus

Pop star and current self-revisionist, Taylor Swift, held an exclusive interview with Iron E! reporter, Ima Noyeen, at her apartment in New York (Swift's, not Ima's) and we're here to give you the inside scoop. Apparently, back in 2011, when she collaborated with Max Martin and Shellback on her hit song, "We are Never Getting Back Together", the lyrics weren't as easy to write as people once thought. "We went back and forth--when all three of us were writing this very personal song about my relationship Jake--and they were like, 'How do you feel about him?' and I was like, 'We are never getting back together' and they were like, 'That's gold--I mean, that's good'..." Ima, sensing there was more to the story, asked Taylor if there was more to the story. "Then, in the middle of everythin...
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‘Cars 3’ Overtakes ‘Wonder Woman’ because Kids Hate Feminism
20Jun By jeff14 Comments
ENTMT

‘Cars 3’ Overtakes ‘Wonder Woman’ because Kids Hate Feminism

Kids are bigots. The latest installment in the animated hit series Cars has revealed a disturbing and dark underbelly of a group of our population that is normally portrayed with all the glossy doe-eyed innocence of little lambs.  But it turns out it was all just propaganda.  That's right, your sweet, adorable little Mickey is a big ole' bigot. Freaking Mickey.  Every time I think about him cheering an animated car instead of the Amazonian princess Diana I throw up in my mouth a little. "Cars rule and girls drool," one pint-sized fan reported.  "I'll take Lightning Mcqueen over the Princess of Themyscira any day of a million kajillion lifetimes - times infinity.  Oh yeah, and did I mention girls drool?" Although it's true that little boys are the ones mostly driving up ticket s...
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Newspapers Guilty of Using Kylie Jenner, Beyonce, Kim K, T Swift, Meghan Markle in Headlines for Cheap Traffic
13Jun By jeffNo Comments
Celebrities, Society

Newspapers Guilty of Using Kylie Jenner, Beyonce, Kim K, T Swift, Meghan Markle in Headlines for Cheap Traffic

"Nature abhors a vacuum" and we're pretty sure this applies here (it's a complicated metaphor and we don't have time to explain).  It has come to our attention that the media at large has been using the fame of our brightest stars to generate clicks and garner shallow traffic on their sites. Despicable. These shimmering goddesses deserve better. They deserve to be treated with the awe and respect that their shimmery awesomeness deserves. And not have their perfect names sullied and cheapened by the greed of capitalism. It goes without saying that newspapers need to rediscover the lost values of decency, professionalism, and shivulry. Besides this, T-Swift might just shake it off and write a song about it, taking you and irony all the way to the bank - or credit union -...
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Amazing Race to Release ‘Sad Sack Race’ for the Rest of Us
19Apr By jeff14 Comments
ENTMT

Amazing Race to Release ‘Sad Sack Race’ for the Rest of Us

A new season of Amazing Race is here, and the world once again is able to live vicariously through beautiful, (mostly) young, well-toned human beings. However, after going back and reviewing the millions and millions of video submissions from normal, everyday Americans, the producers of the hit show felt that they weren’t accurately reflecting their fan base and were only contributing to the expanding disconnect between reality and reality TV. “Take this one for instance,” host and producer Phil Keoghan offered.  “This guy’s in his mid to late thirties, probably majored in literature or something, can’t climb an actual staircase much less a corporate one, and so he has to try and win money on reality TV competitions.  It’s sad, really.  But hey, that was the whole idea behind Sad Sac...
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