‘Cars 3’ Overtakes ‘Wonder Woman’ because Kids Hate Feminism

Kids are bigots.

The latest installment in the animated hit series Cars has revealed a disturbing and dark underbelly of a group of our population that is normally portrayed with all the glossy doe-eyed innocence of little lambs. But it turns out it was all just propaganda. That’s right, your sweet, adorable little Mickey is a big ole’ bigot.

Freaking Mickey. Every time I think about him cheering an animated car instead of the Amazonian princess Diana I throw up in my mouth a little.

“Cars rule and girls drool,” one pint-sized fan reported. “I’ll take Lightning Mcqueen over the Princess of Themyscira any day of a million kajillion lifetimes – times infinity. Oh yeah, and did I mention girls drool?”

Although it’s true that little boys are the ones mostly driving up ticket sales (pun intended) for the new Cars movie, even more disturbing is the fact that girls are also behind this wheel of misfortune (nailed it) for Wonder Woman.

“I love Cars!” five-year old Macy McGrady offered. “And besides, I’m supposed to believe that a white lady came from the Amazon? Please.”

Is this the end of feminism and the modern era as we know it? Though it may be too early to tell, we’re gonna go ahead and call it.