Author: Tim J. Myers

Tim J. Myers is a writer, songwriter, storyteller, and senior lecturer at Santa Clara University. His children’s books have won recognition from the New York Times, NPR, and the Smithsonian; he has 16 out and more on the way. He’s published over 130 poems, won a first prize in a poetry contest judged by John Updike, has three books of adult poetry out and a nonfiction book on fatherhood, and won a major prize in science fiction. He won the West Coast Songwriters Saratoga Chapter Song of the Year and the 2012 SCBWI Magazine Merit Award for Fiction. Find him at www.TimMyersStorySong.com or on Facebook at https://www.facebook.com/TimJMyers1.
A College Student Considers the Irony of Modern Life
21Feb By Tim J. Myers30 Comments
Society

A College Student Considers the Irony of Modern Life

A bunch of lit classes I have to take (because they make you take them if you’re a communications major, even though I don’t see what literature has to do with communication) have books in them talking about all the irony we have in modern life. And even though some guy said 9-11 was the death of irony I noticed there’s still plenty of it around, especially in college. And since my high school counselor Mrs. Gebbershotz said your supposed to make connections between you and the material to be learned, I noticed I have a whole shitload of irony in my life right now, because of breaking up with my girlfriend. But I should try to establish a historical context—well, not about my girlfriend. I met her at a kegger and she was so drunk her friends started calling her “Spring Break,” and slurr...
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Improved Terms for Known Stuff
8Apr By Tim J. Myers40 Comments
Society

Improved Terms for Known Stuff

As culture changes, language does, too.  So must lexicons. Dictionaries of the world, the following are offered for your delight and edification. machina vomitorum: Those "thrill" rides at amusement parks that inspire a terror which can quickly have digestive consequences. genetic freaks: That 0.00001% of the population whose greyhound torsos, giant eyes, and abyssal cheeks qualify them as super-models. the churchmice professions: Teaching or the humanities as careers. In and Out: fast-food-induced diarrhea (which, ironically, never happens at the CA burger chain In and Out). Chichis con Huevos: Hooters Restaurant. Also the answer to a Mexican joke: What do honeymooners have for breakfast? johnshock: One's natural reaction, while sitting in a Port-a-Potty, when a stranger...
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Homage to Hemingway: To Have and then Lose the Damn Thing
26May By Tim J. Myers16 Comments
Society

Homage to Hemingway: To Have and then Lose the Damn Thing

Then there was lunch.  You had to stop and eat it; that’s the way it was.  You had to stop hiking up the long dry slope and sit down and eat the lunch.  If you didn’t eat it you might keel over and then your face would go sideways down onto the dust and you’d smell the dust deep in your nostrils and your cheek would look all fat and spread out against the dusty trail.  So you would reach into your rucksack until your fingers touched the flat metal sides of it, and you’d fish it up out of the rucksack, and set it on a rock and just look at it for a while.  It wasn’t like other cans.  The shape was different.  It was partly a square and partly an oval.  And it had a blue paper covering, with a picture of it.  And it said Spam in big letters.  That was all.  Just Spam. You took it into you...
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