jeff – Page 24 – Iron E-News

Christians Caught Celebrating True Meaning of Easter

23May

By jeff14 Comments

Religion

Christians Caught Celebrating True Meaning of Easter

Last month during the holiday known to the world as Easter—the holiday of innocent white, fluffy rabbits, decoratively painted eggs, and hordes of smiling children all gathered on plush lawns for The Hunt—a group of Christians were found doing something so bizarre it was almost criminal: they were celebrating Christ. Interestingly enough, the person who stumbled in on the strange service was none other than the Easter Bunny himself. He recounted the details to us methodically, apparently in a bit of shock. “I had just done three churches so I decided to take a break. I thought we were going to drink coffee, hear a short message on current events, and then I could help the little tykes hunt for eggs. But then they started talking about Jesus. Jesus Christ!” he said with horror. “...

23Feb

By jeff16 Comments

Sports

Luke Racewalker: The Undertold Story

In a tiny, isolated Texas town just west of the Pecos, where the wandering buffalo still roam under great, cloudless skies, one young man’s dream is as big as the state he calls home. His name is Luke Racewalker. His dream: to walk really, really fast. Luke and his manager/trainer, Mr. Opie Shinobi (not their real names), recently released a major VHS documentary spanning Luke’s power-walking beginnings at the local mall all the way up to his preparations for the 2012 Olympic Games, while at the same time paying homage to a sport that gets walkers everywhere fired up. Last week, Iron E-News’ top reporter traveled to the dusty little town to get the story behind the story. “Well, it was first called Luke Racewalker: The Untold Story,” his manager recalled. “But after we started ...

6Nov

By jeff23 Comments

ENTMT, Politics

Star Wars 7 Revealed: The Drone Wars

Star Wars 7 Cast and Title Revealed! “Not long ago, in a galaxy far, far beyond the reach of justice and peace, a strange and bitter conflict arose on the dark and inhospitable planet known as Yemen.” So begins the highly anticipated JJ Abrams continuation of the intergalactic epic, Star Wars; and, along with it, the continuation of a worldwide love affair with Wookies, droids, Ewoks, bounty hunters, and the like. With some of the casting of episode 7 already released, Abrams kept the lead roles and the title of the movie cloaked in mystery…until today. “I’ve had my eye on the president for a while, actually,” the famed director admitted. ”Politicians are natural actors, which is why so many of them have made the transition from the studio to the hill so seamlessly.” “G-dub w...

27Oct

By jeff19 Comments

Humor Books

The Easy Way

I didn’t remember practicing my circle spins, yet my head was swimmy. The back of my neck throbbed. I tried to rub it only to discover that I couldn’t move my hands! Paralyzed! At least that’s what I thought but I soon discovered that in fact, my hands and feet had just been tied to a chair. Tightly. Too tightly. This was a professional rope job. I was groggy but I tried to think – had I wronged a cowboy? I tried to make out where I was but an incredibly bright light was obstructing my view and not helping my swimmy head at all. A man’s voice called out from the area beyond the light – “So, here we are.” He had an accent as thick as my Aunt Minnie’s calves. I tried to place his speech but it was unique, somewhere between Pepe le Pew gargling and everyone’s Uncle’s Italian Restaurant W...

Comedian Bares All in New Novel, Cape Comedy

27Sep

By jeff16 Comments

Humor Books

Comedian Bares All in New Novel, Cape Comedy

Q: Tell us a little bit about yourself. How long have you been in the comedy business? I started in 1976. An extraordinary story, actually. A guy fixed me up with his wife (They had an open relationship and it was the 70's) and our initial “relationship” actually turned into a friendship. She had a friend who owned a club in Newport Beach called the Laff Stop. She recommended me to him and I wound up owning a 1% share of the club and doing the promotion/marketing part time. But because the club was a two-hour drive the commute was impossible. So, they housed me in the same apartment they rented for the comics. For a year-and-a-half my roommates were David Letterman, Jay Leno, Bob Saget, Roger And Roger, the Unknown Comic, Robin Williams, Elayne Boosler, and whoever the comics were that ...

Thousand Angry Wasp Bucket Challenge not as Popular

13Aug

By jeff15 Comments

Society

Thousand Angry Wasp Bucket Challenge not as Popular

Wasp Bucket Challenge goes viral for all the wrong reasons Due to the overwhelming success of the popular ALS online “ice bucket challenge”, other non-profit organizations have begun proposing their own similar campaigns to generate awareness and support from the public. One particular charity, Save the Wasps of Ichipunininana, has started a campaign called the “thousand angry wasps bucket challenge” in which the participant simply puts a thousand or more poisonous flying insects into a large bucket and then dumps it over his/her head. The true challenge, according to the few who have actually participated–besides getting the wasps to stay in the bucket initially–is to not die afterwards. “Yeah, I made it. Barely,” said one participant through a breathing tube. “My face may loo...